I was so afraid of dying. I remember thinking about death a lot growing up and how final it is and was. I would weep for the victims of violence and struggle with the finality and surety of death. I didn’t want my life or anyone else’s life to end EVER. I knew that living forever was really what I was searching for because I did not believe that there was any place or state of being after death. It would be the end and the very essence of me, and my soul and spirit would cease to exist and I would never experience this life or anything better.
As you can imagine, I struggled with coping with the loss of my family members and absolutely in no way shape or form did I have the emotional intelligence to support others going through grief and loss.
I asked God, why do we have to die?
And he answered: “For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.”
John 3:16 (NKJV)
So, I asked “God, Are you saying that all anyone has to do is believe in Jesus and they will live forever?” And He answered yes, “Know Me as the only true God and Jesus Christ whom I have sent” (John 17:3). On my quest to live forever, I submitted my life to Jesus and began reading the Bible more often and praying consistently to keep his commands. This allowed Jesus to send Holy Spirit to help me understand the concept of eternal life. As the Bible reads:
If you love me, keep my commands. And, I will ask the Father to give you another helper called the Spirit of truth to be with you forever” (John 14:15).
Seeking the knowledge of God through belief in Jesus Christ allowed Holy Spirit to guide me into all truth. Holy Spirit began declaring things to me that were to come as heard from Jesus as it states in John 16:13. As my faith increased, I was given deeper revelation about my own purpose in life. Holy Spirit began to refine my identity in Jesus and see God as my Father. As the scripture says, “For as many that are led by the Spirit of God, those are the Sons of God” (Romans 8:28).
I no longer feared death and I gained a new perspective. Gratitude! I started to appreciate everything that I had instead of focusing on something outside of my control. I began living for the day. Not tomorrow, just today. And today all is well. Today I can talk, today I can walk, today I can care for my husband, children and myself. I have the activity of my limbs and my brain can comprehend and express complex thoughts. I am free to LIVE today, I a free to LIVE as who God has called me to be Today.
Faith in God through believing that He loved me enough to give the life of His only Son, so that I may have LIFE and LIFE more abundantly is what extinguished my fear of leaving this life.
Unbridled gratitude began to rise up internally and I started thanking God that through Jesus, I have Life more abundantly. I am loved with a PERFECT love and perfect love eliminates FEAR.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. did not fear death for this same reason and stated,
“Well, I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn’t matter with me now. Because I’ve been to the mountaintop. And I don’t mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now-MLK Jr.
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I would also pray to live a long life, but what I value more now is that I live every day that I have been given without a worry about when this reality of life will end. Instead I accept the peace in knowing that because God loved me, I will live forever. There is more LIFE than what is on earth. There is a life beyond here. As Jesus tells us in John 14
Let not your heart be troubled, believe in God believe also in Me. In my Father’s house are many mansions, if it were not so I would have told you. I go and prepare a place for you that where I am you may be also.
John 14: 1-6
When I die, I will be with Jesus in His Father’s house where there are many rooms. And I believe that my grandmother Rosa Banton Martin quoted this scripture daily because she believed also. I know that she is with Jesus as He has told us. I believe that she has not perished, but instead continues to live in our Father’s house. All of the family members that I was worried about dying, I now found a new hope that we might all live forever. My focus and perception of life and death has shifted to a belief of life and life more abundantly, of life and gratitude, of life and salvation, of life and redemption.
Speak Truth N Love 